Oh, This Whacky World in Which We Live

Study Links Bikini-Line Shaving to Auto Accidents

Patty O'Dore
New Zealand Tribune
March 10, 2010

Women who shave their "bikini lines" are twice as likely than those who don't to have an auto accident according to a recent study. Researchers at the West Auckland University's Sue Bradford Institute of Human Sexuality studied 2,000 licensed women drivers between 18 and 45 years of age - 1,000 of whom shave the pubic hair around their bikini lines and 1,000 who don't. The findings are astonishing

The study, which spanned a 5 year period beginning in 2004 found that nearly 500 (478) of the half who shave had an auto accident in the last 5 years - 38 of them died in those crashes - compared to only 274 of the non-shaving half, all of whom are still alive.

"Frankly, we were quite surprised at the results," admits Dr. Sela Ka'mawanalaya, research team leader and senior professor in Cultural Objectification of Carnal Knowledge and Bio-Organic Observational Breast Studies.

Dr. Ka'mawanalaya added, "We weren't expecting anything so conclusive. My team and I were really just exploring avenues of spending the remainder of our existing budget to ensure funding for our department the next year. We really were completely out of ideas when we came-up with this study, but I think we can save a lot of lives because of this research."

Crock of shit? Maybe, but this story seems to support the study's findings.

Woman crashes while shaving bikini area

Yahoo!Xtra March 9, 2010, 1:25 pm

A woman who caused a two-car crash was shaving her bikini line when she ploughed into another vehicle.

Megan Mariah Barnes, 37, had asked her ex-husband to steer while she tidied up her pubic hair when they smashed into the back of a pick-up on a Florida highway.

Barnes was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be "ready for the visit", according to news service CBS.

Members of the Florida Highway Patrol told the media Barnes and her ex, Charles Judy, allegedly drove another half-mile before switching seats. When they were pulled over, Judy claimed to have been driving.

However an eagle-eyed traffic cop spotted tell-tale burns on his chest from the passenger-side airbag, which disproved their story.

How much do you wanna bet she nicked herself with the razor, her accelerator foot hit the floor, and the woman ploughed into the pickup before her ex-husband could steer around it? And the ex-husband going with her to see her current boyfriend...WTF is THAT all about?

Perhaps these tips on safe shaving should include something about not doing it while driving.

ADDENDUM: OK, people, the first story was a joke; a work of fiction – I made it up. Your first clue should have been the reporter’s by-line (“Patty O’Dore”) – patio door. The next clues would be easy for Kiwis to see right away that it was a joke – there is no West Auckland University, let alone a “Sue Bradford Institute of Human Sexuality” (Sue Bradford is a recently retired un-elected member or parliament from the Green Party and a full-blown communist and former professional protester who, back in her day wasn’t a bad looking chick, but today looks more like Phyllis Dyller [sp?]). As The Great Snook (comment #4) already noticed, the good doctor’s name when said aloud should have been a dead give-away, let alone the courses she taught (notice the acronyms created from the first letter of each word in the course titles).

The point of this was to show that, without a few clues and given all the silly shit that goes on in academia, one may not find something so absurd to actually be a spoof. More often than you may think, “studies” like that are often twisted around to “prove” a correlation or a cause-and-effect relationship, so be careful when you read any statistical data that attempts to do either. The second story is there in contrast to show that truth is often not much stranger than fiction.

The other thing I wanted to see was how closely you all read something and to determine your “gullibility index.”