Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Joke Time

Hat-tip: Don
TENJOOBERRYMUDS

By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND WHAT TENJOOBERRYMUDS...MEANS.


In order to continue getting-by in America (our home land), we all need to learn the NEW English language! Practice by reading the following conversation until you are able to understand the term "TENJOOBERRYMUDS".

With a little patience, you'll be able to fit right in.
Now, here goes...

The following is a telephone exchange between you as a hotel guest and call room-service somewhere in the good old U. S. A. today......

Room Service: 'Morrin. Roon sirbees.'

Guest: 'Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service.'

Room Service: ' Rye. Roon sirbees... morrin! Joowish to oddor sunteen???'

Guest: 'Uh..... Yes, I'd like to order bacon and eggs.'

Room Service: 'Ow July den?'
Guest: '.....What??'

Room Service: 'Ow July den?!?... pryed, boyud, poochd?'

Guest: 'Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry.. scrambled, please.'

Room Service: 'Ow July dee baykem? Crease?'

Guest: 'Crisp will be fine.'

Room Service: 'Hokay. An Sahn toes?'

Guest: 'What?'

Room Service: 'An toes. July Sahn toes?'

Guest: 'I... don't think so.'

Room Service: 'No? Judo wan sahn toes???'

Guest: 'I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means.'

Room Service: 'Toes! Toes!...Why Joo don Juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?'

Guest: 'Oh, English muffin!!! I've got it! You were saying 'toast'... Fine...Yes, an English muffin will be fine.'

Room Service: 'We bodder?'

Guest: 'No, just put the bodder on the side.'

Room Service: 'Wad?!?'

Guest: 'I mean butter... just put the butter on the side.'

Room Service: 'Copy?'

Guest: 'Excuse me?'
Room Service: 'Copy...tea..meel?'

Guest: 'Yes. Coffee, please... and that's everything.'

Room Service: 'One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin, we bodder on sigh and copy ... rye??'

Guest: 'Whatever you say.'

Room Service: 'Tenjooberrymuds.'

Guest: 'You're welcome'

Remember I said 'By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND TENJOOBERRYMUDS.....and you do, don't you!

*************************************************************************************

Hat-tip: My very good friend back in the States, Todd
The Texan and the Bull

A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico. While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"

The waiter replied, "Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull's testicles, from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!'"

The cowboy said, "What the heck, bring me an order." The waiter replied, "I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy."

The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday."

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si, Senor. Sometimes the bull wins."

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