Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Tattoo Remover

Military Humor

Breaking News

I actually heard about this on a morning radio talk show here in New Zealand.

Hot off the press:

Nebraska 'Butt Bandit' Gets 13 Months in Jail
1 hour ago

VALENTINE, Neb. (AP) — A man dubbed the "Butt Bandit" for making greasy imprints of his nether parts on windows in the north-central Nebraska city of Valentine has been sentenced to more than a year in jail. Cherry County Attorney Eric Scott says police caught 35-year-old Thomas Larvie in the act on Nov. 19.

Scott says Larvie was sentenced Thursday to 13 1/2 months in jail after being convicted of eight misdemeanor counts of public indecency and one of disturbing the peace.

Authorities said Larvie used lotion or petroleum jelly to make imprints of his naked behind — and sometimes his groin — on the windows of stores, churches and schools in Valentine beginning in the spring of 2007.

Townspeople dubbed the vandal the "Butt Bandit" even though no theft was involved.

I can't help but wonder...if it had been a woman...with an ass like this...

...would the outcome have been perhaps a bit different?

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Sunday, December 07, 2008

Moo Cow WHAT Milk???

If you watch these, I guarantee you will get to a part where you may very well ask yourself that very same question.

Lots of guys have great material and shitty delivery (fewer have it the other way around), but it's the great ones that have both great material AND delivery. It's not only what they say but how they say it - and not just with words - that makes them funny. It's the facial gestures, mannerisms, peculiarities, vocal inflection, timing and pauses, the impromptu moments...you know what I mean.

Two guys (among many others, of course) that meet those criteria are Ron White and Lewis Black. The following feature is Lewis Black, another of my favorite comedians. His material is great, delivery superb - and THAT is what makes a good comic.

There are 6 parts, just under 10 minutes each. It's the whole set. I suggest you watch them all in one sitting because...well...it's Sunday back in the States, and you have nothing better to do.

Remember to watch for the bit about milk...

Part One

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Part Five

Part Six

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Wednesday, December 03, 2008

A Fresh Perspective

Being away from the blog for just over a week, processing all the post-election hype and spin - taking it all in, so to speak - I discovered a new outlook on...well...just about anything and everything, I guess. It's a zen sort of thing, right up there with "whatever" and "that's cool."

It's called "I don't give a fuck." Zen with an attitude.

Or "I don't care" if one must be politically correct (although that would be incongruous with the philosophy - If one doesn't give a fuck then one certainly doesn't care about being politically correct to begin with, does one?).

I suppose that this wonderful new mindset seems eerily similar to another condition known as apathy.

Merriam-Webster OnLine defines apathy as such:
Main Entry:
Greek apatheia, from apathēs without feeling, from a- + pathos emotion — more at pathos


1 : lack of feeling or emotion : impassiveness
2 : lack of interest or concern : indifference
That pretty much sums it up, and the "I don't give a fuck" attitude is more or less a statement of indifference, even defiance. It is a liberating feeling to able to say, "I don't give a fuck," - and MEAN IT.

How did this come to pass? It was only a few days ago, listening to talk radio where global warming/climate change/CO2 emissions/methane/cow farts/carbon credits/Kyoto was being discussed. The host was neither a true believer nor a denier, and the debate was good. And then it hit me, one of those thought-distilling, somebody flipped on the light switch kind of moments:

I don't give a fuck.

I'll bet you that if you talked to one hundred people who are true believers - you know, the ones who cite the "consensus of the world's leading peer-reviewed climatologists" and argue the "science" of it all - you would be lucky to find 10 who have read the actual IPCC Report AR4. Not the "Summary for Policymakers", the actual Report. I have read most of it, and, even with a scientific and engineering background, it ain't easy readin'. I will not discuss or debate the issue any longer. I can't be bothered.

I just don't give a fuck.

Even if I accept all the dire (many of them not as dire as so many in the media would have us believe) predictions, I still don't give a fuck.

The sea level is going to rise?
I don't give a fuck.

It's going to get hotter?
I don't give a fuck.

Millions of people are going to die?
I don't give a fuck. And on that note, not only do I not give a fuck, I'm actually counting on it. I'd actually like to raise the ante to...I don't know...say, two or three billion. Because that's what the REAL problem is here, folks: Too many fucking people. Half of ya' need to go.

Hmmmm, that doesn't sound very dispassionate or disinterested. As a matter of fact, that sounds downright mean and uncaring.

Guess what?

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